These two pictures perfectly describe how I feel upon re-entering my life after a long run of work in three creative careers that have all simultaneously stopped. Coffee and computer by day, cocktails by night. Sometimes I reverse them just to see what happens.
I do find this to be the deeply unappealing side of a freelance life, even one that is successful like mine. I'm not sure how this always seems to happen, but it does. Here I am, fresh from 9 long months of work: back to back shows, recording audiobooks, writing drafts of my romance series...and then--SILENCE. The crushing silence of all my work having come to a conclusion, and the black void of What Comes Next looming ahead.
Now let's not get TOO dramatic. I've had a lovely and much needed September filled with a bit of recording, a last draft of DOUBLE DOWN (book 3 of The Bod Squad Series) and TWO wonderful trips...one to New Orleans-- much good for the soul-- and one to San Francisco to see family and my beautiful 2 and a half yr old nephew--good for the heart. So I'm glad about that. And I do have a show I'm doing in NYC in the winter with a company I've wanted to work with for some time. But I do think it's amazing to always come back to this potent re-set as a freelance artist, this fertile yet terrifying moment where the looming void of nothing presents itself as a possible lifelong partner.
My home remedies: coffee. whiskey. yoga. meditation. writing. organizing. dates with friends. some kinda art. some kinda volunteering. not necessarily in that order:)
It always brings up a big question for me... this quietude is so vital, so necessary to being an artist...how to make it less terrifying when you're living contract to contract? I always wrestle with it.
But for the moment...glad for a bit of peace!